No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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