The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
farters have to be the big spoon...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
