I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize