i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE