okay pat passed out under dana's car
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers