My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We are two peas in an std pod
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
