Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.

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  (843): so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor. http://tfl.nu/1pvp
  Replies (156) Good night (4918) Bad night (1194)
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  (347): View more from New York

  k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza

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  (347): k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza http://tfl.nu/rg2w
  Replies (31) Good night (1034) Bad night (5289)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.

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  (817): The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen. http://tfl.nu/gj69
  Replies (38) Good night (12934) Bad night (1296)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man

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  (405): Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man http://tfl.nu/vdn4
  Replies (9) Good night (4770) Bad night (965)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.

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  (806): That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car. http://tfl.nu/uk3l
  Replies (8) Good night (2039) Bad night (3261)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"

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  (708): did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement" http://tfl.nu/nqth
  Replies (3) Good night (1958) Bad night (1240)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.

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  (757): It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower. http://tfl.nu/w3u9
  Replies (11) Good night (3007) Bad night (917)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.

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  (732): thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air. http://tfl.nu/4jlr
  Replies (3) Good night (1789) Bad night (1096)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"

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  (860): I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is" http://tfl.nu/o552
  Replies (1) Good night (1484) Bad night (691)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck

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  (720): Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck http://tfl.nu/51rp
  Replies (2) Good night (552) Bad night (1669)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.

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  (973): Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me. http://tfl.nu/gl2k
  Replies (3) Good night (609) Bad night (1117)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.

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  (630): I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME. http://tfl.nu/7nql
  Replies (11) Good night (1557) Bad night (559)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  Did you sleep with him again?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?

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  (978): The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me. (1-978): Did you sleep with him again? (978): No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me? http://tfl.nu/swvn
  Replies (5) Good night (469) Bad night (1001)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.

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  (757): I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci. http://tfl.nu/01hs
  Replies (2) Good night (585) Bad night (314)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.

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  (301): she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud. http://tfl.nu/ij9c
  Replies (3) Good night (942) Bad night (270)

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