I hate your face
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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