I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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