Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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