It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
