Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
