Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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