CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
