You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
