is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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