you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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