just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
