There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize