i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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