The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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