Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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