Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
