Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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