You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
