Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
