...so i touched it.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
