If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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