Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
