she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
