last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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