Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
