I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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