I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
