he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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