Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
