I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
