I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
