Well apparently he's into motor boating.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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