I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She has the best kind of daddy issues
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize