belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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