That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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