oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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