He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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