it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
