I love having hate sex.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
