Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
