it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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