we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
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I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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