I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
