I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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