I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.