i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
home. puking in laundry basket.
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I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
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Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.