he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.