She's JV to your varsity
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday