hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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