I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize