she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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