I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
