The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
