she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
This baby is an asshole
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
