I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
