I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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