i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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