DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
