Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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