quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
