His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just had sex on a roof
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
