oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize