And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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