I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Randomize
