Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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